hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
