This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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