You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize