# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
