Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
