So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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