dude i'm inner monologue high
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
