I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
