I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
