who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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