I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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