just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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