Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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