Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
