that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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