Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
