and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
D3 body, D1 cock
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
