Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
