You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
