There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
