there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
