I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
