Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
