Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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