Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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