guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
