How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
