i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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