Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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