Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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