i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
