Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
