lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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