it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
