What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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