First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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