i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I will pee on everything he values.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
