just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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