You know, be my cock's hype man.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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