yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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