I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
