i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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