batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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