omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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