And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
