I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
