I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
