What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
