do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
