she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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