There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
