How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
