So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
