Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
