I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
