I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
