I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
